


The New Jedi

by GodricSalzaar16



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Aromantic Rey (Star Wars), Canon Rewrite, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Poe Dameron/Finn, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Family Reunions, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Ghosts, Force-Sensitive Finn, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jedi Training, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Leia Organa Deserves Better, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Luke Skywalker Deserves Better, Luke Skywalker Is Not an Asshole, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, POV Multiple, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Prince Finn, Rey Skywalker, Spoilers, Stormtrooper Rebellion, Stormtrooper Rose Tico
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodricSalzaar16/pseuds/GodricSalzaar16
Summary: A rewrite of The Last Jedi.Rey finds Luke on Ahch-To, where he agrees to return to the Resistance base once her Jedi training is completed.But just as General Leia Organa deploys a squadron of rebels to scout out areas for a new base, D'Qar is attacked by the First Order, forcing the members of the Resistance to evacuate quickly.But now all our heroes have been separated, off on their own journeys that all ultimately lead to one goal----Stop Kylo Ren and The First Order.But in the midst of this battle, a new Rebellion is sparked, and inside the ranks of the Imperial Forces.





	1. Arrival on Ahch-To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds Luke

They fall out of hyperspace with an almost unnoticeable jolt. Rey sat up straighter in her seat. She took in the view before her, swallowing the lump in her throat. Chewbacca, sensing her trepidation, cast her a glance, but said nothing. As the near the planet, she can’t help but notice how small it is in comparison to others she’d seen in these last few weeks. If Jakku was small, then Ahch-To is minuscule. 

The clouds are a fluffy white, hanging low in the sky as if reaching for the sea below. They flew only a few inches above the water, the light waves almost brushing the underside of the Falcon. The ocean is a deep blue, unlike anything she’s ever seen. It was so unlike the wild, uncontrollable green forests of Takodana, or the barren, sandy land of Jakku. 

They touched down at the beach, the engines slowing down to a halt. The sound of waves soothed Rey’s frayed nerves. Rey looked at Chewie, who sat in his seat, giving her a sympathetic look. After losing Han, he was quieter. He spoke only when spoken to, and sometimes to give some well needed advice. Rey couldn’t even imagine how he must feel. What with Han gone, and now, if Luke wasn’t here --

No, Luke was here. She had never been more sure of anything in her life. Not even when she took the hand of a stranger and dragged him into a stolen ship. Not even when she fought an evil fascist with a weapon she had never before seen or used. Luke Skywalker was on this island. She felt it deep in her bones. As if this information had always been her mind and was only now realised and recognised. 

“It will be alright. I’ll bring him home -- I promise,” she said, not sure if she was reassuring Chewie or herself. 

Chewie made a sound of acknowledgement. She turned, grabbing her bag and staff, before walking through the landing bay. 

Artoo stood outside already, head swivelling in all directions, taking in the scenery. The droid found it amusing that friend Luke chose such a place on which to hide. So full of water, so very different to the planet of Tatooine, with its long stretches of sand and hot sun. Here the ocean breeze cooled the air, the green grass bright beneath the brown and grey of the mountains. 

That was were Rey found the droid, standing close to the edge of the rocks, gazing out at the ocean. She smiled to herself. She likes Artoo, and she can imagine it has seen quite a few things in its day, but she can’t help but miss BB-8. She’d become very attached to that droid, and she knew the feeling was mutual. But after the battle, she knew BB-8 would want to stick closer to Poe. 

Chewie made a small noise, reminding her that it was time to get going. She nodded, turning to face the island. One, huge mountain stood, looming over  all of them. A long trail of winding rock-steps lead the way to the very top. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, the smell of fresh grass and the ocean filling her lungs. She felt a calling here. A deep surety inside of her that told her this place had been waiting for a long time -- and it had been waiting for her. 

She opens her eyes, taking her first few steps up the mountain. She uses her staff for leverage, helping her as she goes along. Her bag knocked against her side with every step she took. She has a small fear that she might damage the relic inside. When she is a small while up, she turns around. 

Chewie and Artoo stand in the opening of the ship, staring back at her. She smiles, even though they can’t see it, and gives them a small wave. Chewie makes a pleased sound, while Artoo beeps with nervousness and excitement. She turns back, taking another breath, looking up at the winding path before her. This might take a while. 

At the beach, Artoo beeps  quietly as they watch friend Rey ascend the mountain. Artoo hopes --  _ hopes  _ so  deeply \-- that Friend Luke is on this island. The droid had been asleep for so long, it had almost forgotten what was before. But no, friend Leia needed their help -- if the droid BB-8 was to  be believed . And everyone knew that the only person who could help Friend Leia was her brother, Friend Luke. He had to be here, lest the universe  be doomed .

Black bird  fly overhead, swirling around in circles in the air above her.  Rey is not even halfway up the mountain, but her breath becomes shorter and the muscles in her thighs protest . Her body has become accustomed to sitting in a chair for long periods of time. As she walked up the path, her life on Jakku flashed behind her eyes.  She could remember the long days and nights, searching for scrap and spare parts  in order to sell and buy herself a good meal . 

Now, she felt she had become somewhat complacent in her new life.  The Falcon  was stuffed to capacity with various foods they procured before leaving D’Qar, and not to mention two bags of new clothes given to her by General Organa herself .  If it were not for her staff, she would have been happy to forget the person she had been in her past life -- as if that life were some faraway time, something she hasn’t seen in decades, not a few weeks ago . 

She couldn’t help noticing how simplistic, yet beautiful, this island -- this planet -- was.  The stairs alone looked as if there were hand-paved,  carefully crafted and stacked above one another .  Flat stones, stacked up high formed small huts, each with tall, rectangular openings in the front .  Around her, grey stones stop stacked, formed passageways and openings, leading to rooms of various sizes .  She allowed her fingers tips to graze along the hard rocks, the hard callouses and jagged edges grazing her skin  lightly . 

The stairs give way to wide, flat ground. A hill leads upwards, the field of grass separated in the middle by a winding dirt-path. She digs her staff into the ground, hauling herself further.  The wind was wilder and stronger up this high, wiping her hair around her face, and making goosebumps rise on her exposed skin . 

Above her, the mountain curves inwards, as if making a large circle, two arms reaching for one another but never touching . They’re so high, she felt they might almost graze the sky.  She’s so enthralled by the way the mountain has shaped itself, that she almost startles when she sees the figure standing  just a few paces ahead of her, on top of the hill . They’re dressed in a light brown cloak, hood over their head, the hem fluttering in the wind. 

He hears her coming, but if he was honest, he was aware of her presence the moment she stepped onto the island. Her presence was strong, a loud, deafening call, a beacon of light so bright it was blinding. He knew who she was -- knew what she wanted, why she was here. He’d been waiting for her. 

He’d been waiting for a long time. 

She takes another hesitant step forward, the rocks beneath her feet crunching. She waits, anxiety filling her to the brim.  Her heart pounded  painfully against her ribcage, her chest heaving with every gasping breath she took . She balled her hands into fists when she realised they were shaking. She figure turns, looking over their shoulder at her, and she catches a flash of bright, blue eyes. 

He turns  fully then, standing face-to-face. They took each other in that way, silent and unmoving.  She scans his figure, from his uncut greying hair, the the beard, the the robe he wore, fluttering around his ankles . He lifted his hood, the metal of his bionic hand flickering  dully in the soft lighting. She knows then,  surely she knows -- she must know who he is. 

This is Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Knight, the living legend, the only remaining force-user on the light side . The last of the jedi. She knows this in the same way she had known Han and in the same way she had known Finn. Like something deep inside of her recognised them  undoubtedly . 

She puts the straps her of staff over her shoulder and reaches for the lightsaber, drawing it out and gripping it  tightly . She turns back to him then, extending her arms and holding the lightsaber out to him. The metal was cool against her skin, but somehow she felt heat resonating off of it. The mere presence of this one object alone was so potent, so bright, it reached out to both of them. 

Luke stared at this girl -- this impossible girl -- as she handed him something that he had thought long lost to him. His father’s lightsaber sat snug in her palm, calling out to him. He hasn’t seen it in years, not after he lost it during the battle with his father. The one that had also cost him his hand. 

He attempted to school his features, not giving any emotions away.  But Rey caught the fractional widening of his eyes, the way his lips parted in shocked surprise before he clenched his jaw . He stayed silent, only half of him there in the presence. The other half falling through a well of memories, ones he had thought long forgotten or buried. 

Her expression was pleading, her entire body trembled like a shaken leaf in the strong wind.  The aura around her all but begged him to take the lightsaber, to take it from her and accept the unspoken question she was asking . But his feet would not move, his body frozen to the stop as he looked at her, face so unfamiliar, yet he knew it completely. He thought it only apt that she dressed in grey, as that was where it all started. 

The stood there, an eternity passing between the two of them, neither moving or uttering a word. She let out a sharp gasp, as if the air had physically been drawn from her lungs and into the open air. She looked away, but kept her hand outstretched. She was trembling, every nerve in her body on end, anxiety clawing at her insides. The weight of the safely of the entire universe rested on her shoulders in that moment. She felt it, the heaviness of all the death and destruction that would occur if he did not take the lightsaber from her. If she failed. 

“Please,” she said, turning back to him, tears in her eyes as she shook, “ _ Please,  _ help me, Luke Skywalker --”

She gasped out a shuddering breath, a single tear escaping from the corner of her eye, rolling down the side of her face

“-- you are my only hope.”

The words -- so familiar, and yet so different -- pierced through him, and by all protests, he felt a tsunami of nostalgia and yearning in himself .  There had been a time where he’d heard those words, spoken by his own twin sister, who had been asking an old man -- a legend -- to help her . Somehow, this was the same. 

He walked towards her then, each step careful and purposeful and he descended the hill. He stopped when he stood but a few feet from her. He reached out, his bionic hand grasping the cool metal, and fluttering over the palm of her hand. He examined the lightsaber, even though he already knew it was his. He looked back at her then. 

“Where did you find it?” He asked. 

His question startled her, so mundane and ordinary. She didn’t know what she expected from a living legend. They way Han spoke about him -- like he was larger than life itself, larger than even the entire galaxy. he was, under all that hair and robes. 

“On the planet of Takodana,” she said, clearing her throat, “I was travelling with a friend. I found it in a locked chest in a basement. It called out to me showed me a glimpse of my -- of what I wanted to see most.”

“And who told you it was mine?”

“Maz Kantana,” she said, “ she told me it belonged to the Skywalker family, but it was long ago lost.”

_ Maz Kantana,  _ of course. She always had a way of procuring lost things in the universe.  He gripped the lightsaber more  tightly , the one and only item of his father’s that wasn’t shrouded in the darkness of his memory . The only thing of his time  _before_. 

“ Many things have happened since you been gone,” she said, squeezing fists, nerves still on edge. 

“I’m aware of all that has happened.”

“You are?” she asked, shocked. 

She had been under the firm belief that he had been living on this island, completely ignorant of what was going on elsewhere .  Because that was the only way he would have stayed there, that was the only reason he wouldn’t come to the Resistance’s aid, his  sister’s  aid .

“But how could you just _stay_ here if you knew of everything that has happened? Your sister _needs_ you, Han _needed_ you,” he flinches at the mention of Han’s name, “the _**universe**_ needs you! How can you  just sit here while the First Order --”

“I have been helping!” he shouted, but not meaning to. He sighed, his head dropping, “I have helped, as much as I can. If I were with the Resistance, everyone would already be dead right now. The First Order -- they’re hunting me, willing to stop at nothing to make sure I’m dead. It might not feel like it, but it was better for everyone involved that I stay far,  _ far  _ away, where no one could find me. 

“And if they did find me, well --”

“You would be alone,” she said. 

It sounded  utterly ridiculous, but also made complete sense. Whatever grudge Kylo Ren had with the Resistance, it stemmed from issues with his family. Especially Luke. And Rey met Kylo, endured the bare  minimum of his torture -- not like Poe,  _ Gods  _ Poe. She understood where Luke was coming from. It was better to be alone, where no one else would  be hurt if they came for you. Leia wouldn’t understand because she saw only her need for a saviour. Someone to help her no matter if it endangered her own life. Luke saw a picture far bigger than any of them had ever thought possible. And he had seen it a long time ago. 

“I understand,” she said, more to herself than him.

“If you know of everything then you know why I’m here,” she said, both a statement and a question. 

“Yes,” he said, “you need training. The force is strong in you -- I felt your presence the second you stepped onto the island. I can only imagine Kylo's shock beholding you."

She swallowed against the dryness in her throat. She remembers that night, the way Kylo Ren looked at her, shocked, awed and -- if she hadn't imagined it -- terrified. 

“I will train you,” he said, turning away and walking towards where he had been standing before. 

She followed after him about to interject. To tell him that he needed to come with her, or else she would have failed her mission. Her mission was to further her training and  _bring Luke Skywalker back to help the Resistance_.  She couldn't take Leia's disappointed look -- not after Han, not after Rey had promised. And  _Chewie_. 

She stood beside him, on the very top of the tallest mountain, overlooking the entire island. They stood side-by-side, and she looked at him from the corner of her eye. Something swelled and built and ruptured inside of her. Her veins were singing with excitement, her heart pounding  rapidly . She couldn't help but feel as if she had finally found a place where she belonged. 

“And when your training is complete, we will go back to D'Qar,” he said, the wind ruffling his hair and his coat. 

“Together.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I hated almost everything about The Last Jedi, I decided to rewrite it, starting all the way from the ending scene of The Force Awakens. This will include fan theories that were speculated before the release. Apologies for any mistakes as this is NOT BETA READ.


	2. A New Misson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn sleeps and Poe pines.  
> General Organa gives Poe a new mission.

Finn lies unconscious in a cot in the infirmary of the Resistance. Next to him, Poe Dameron sits completely still in his seat, gazing at the lax expression on his friend’s face. It’s been almost two weeks since his encounter with Kylo Ren, and Finn has yet to regain full consciousness. Still, Poe waits by his side, praying to whatever deity there is in the universe, praying to the force -- and even on bad days, the dark side -- that his friend wakes up. Poe doesn’t think he would be able to handle it if Finn doesn’t make it through.

 

It would be a shame, someone as bright as Finn being snuffed out like a candle. When he hasn’t even reached his full potential yet, when he hasn’t had __any__ pleasurable experiences yet. Poe, in his thirty-two years of life, has experienced many things. He’s experienced love, and heartache, and loss and gratitude. Finn, well he hasn’t even begun to brush the surface of the full human experience. And Poe wants to give it do him, wants to experience it __with__ him.

 

Poe knows that Finn is different. Maybe it’s as a result of being in the First Order for his whole life, but Finn had this way of looking at the universe from all angles. He saw the dark, cruel parts, like the First Order, that killed and took and destroyed. But he also saw the wonderful beautiful parts, where you could go anywhere and be anything. He saw both horrid and beautiful. And Poe, he wanted know how Finn managed it. Because Poe, sometimes he could only see the darkness. So vast and wide and all-consuming that it overtook his thoughts and chased away the only snippets of light left in him.

 

The medic bot beeps at him, unamused at his behaviour. He hasn’t been back to his own room in a few hours -- he doesn’t want to leave Finn, even though he knows nothing will happen here -- and his jaw is prickly with stubble. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is growing out. He knows all of this because not five minutes ago, the medic droid shoved a polished piece of metal into his hands and forced him to look at himself. If he was being honest, he would admit that he understood why everyone was so worried about him.

 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and resting his face and his open palm while his elbow balanced on the arms of the chair. He was usually the one lying in the infirmary. And it felt surreal for him to sitting here, waiting for someone else to wake up. He never truly understood why his friends were always so clingy whenever he got of out medical, but now, as he looked at Finn’s face, he finally understood. When Finn woke up, Poe wasn’t leaving his side for anything in the universe. Hell, he wasn’t letting Finn out of his sight ever again.

 

Poe wondered to himself how he’d gotten so attached to an ex-stormtrooper that he’d only know for about ten minutes. But then he thought back to that night. When he was bruised and battered and against all his better judgement, scared out of his fucking mind. And how a young man with bright eyes and an even brighter smile, dragged him into a secluded corner. And uttered the words words that would change everything. __Listen__ _ _carefully__ _ _,if you do exactly as I say I can get you out of here.__

 

Poe doesn’t think he’s ever fallen that hard, that fast before in his entire life. But it was Finn. And if Poe knew then, how he would feel now, he’s not so sure he would’ve taken Finn up on his offer. Not because he didn’t care for him, but because he cared for him __too much.__ Finn was beautiful. Maybe to some people he wasn’t conventionally attractive, but to Poe, he was the more exquisite thing in existence. The suns of Tatooine couldn’t even rival Finn’s smile, the depths of The Deep Sea could compare to the water in which Poe swam just looking into Finn’s eyes.

 

Gods, he sounds ridiculous, waxing poetry about his friend who is currently in a coma. But he should’ve known the moment he felt the tell-tale burst of warmth in his chest sitting in the TIE fighter. As he laughed and cheered along with Finn as he yelled out, __Did you see that?__ His excitement was palpable as he decimated the Starkiller’s bottom surface. He should have known that meeting Finn would cause him to ache do deeply and profoundly. That he would question how he ever made it through life without this feeling.

 

He felt as though he had both lost and gained something at the same time. And Poe was a giving person. He gave and he gave. Whether it was to the Resistance, or to his flying, or to his friends and family -- and lovers. It had never before felt so daunting. And he was afraid. Afraid because something deep inside him, a whisper of a voice in the back of his mind, told him he would give Finn __everything__ if he could, and he would __want to__ _ _.__

 

But also, somehow he knew, that Finn would give him everything right back. He knew it when they escaped the First Order together. He knew it when he woke up, cold and alone in the middle of nowhere, Finn -- brave, beautiful Finn -- nowhere to be seen, and his heart stopped in his chest at the loss of someone he’s become so attached to in under five seconds. He knew it when BB-8 rolled up to his, beeping a mile-a-minute about __the jacket stealer__ and how he’d completed the mission. He knew it when he looked up and saw Finn stumbling towards him, the shock on his face the same as Poe felt. He __knew it__ when they wrapped their arms around each other so tightly it almost hurt, and his heart was beating out of his chest, and he could barely breath he was so happy.

 

A loud beep brought him violently out of his reminiscing, and he jerked in his chair. Next to him, the medic droid stood, mechanical arm outstretched with a piece hologram of General Organa.

 

 _ _“Commander Poe Dameron, meet me in my chambers in five minutes, we have important business to discuss,”__ the hologram said, in the General’s stern but affectionate tone.

 

He sighed. He hated to leave Finn’s side, but he could -- and would -- never say no to Leia. After his mother died, she’d become another sort-of parental figure. Always strict, making sure he got the job done and got out alive, while also spoiling -- just a little bit -- sometimes. He got up, wiping his sweaty palms on the front of his pants. He cast one last look at Finn, still sleeping peacefully, completely unaware of Poe’s inner torment.

 

“Alert me if--”

 

“If he wakes up,” the droid beeped, and if droids could roll their eyes, he was sure that’s would it would be doing right now, “I know what to do. Now go, we don’t keep the General waiting.”

 

He gave the droid an unimpressed look as it ushered him from the room and out into the hallway. He turned, about to say more, when the doorway shut in his face. He closed his mouth, frowning slightly.

 

“That was rude,” he said out loud, as he walked down the hallway.

 

The planet of D’Qar was far away from any other life-inhabiting planet, with the base hidden beneath the huge forestry, and then hidden further still as they built their hangars underground. The only exposed areas being the landing area. Below the surface of the planet, were the hangars, then the maintenance level and then below that still, were the living quarters. Many people lived almost three in a room, but Poe was fortunate enough to have a room to himself. Well, he was hoping it wouldn’t be only for him for that much longer.

 

He must have zoned out completely, because he soon found himself standing in front of the General’s door. He took in a long breath, steeling himself as he knocked.

 

“Enter.”

 

He walked in, closing the door behind him. He didn’t know how serious this discussion was, and it was better when things were done with discretion around here -- you never knew who could be listening. Her room was spare, with just a single, perfectly made bed, a small table, a wardrobe and an old couch. He’d been in here a few times -- as the General preferred to discuss more private matters where she knew no one would eavesdrop.

 

“Commander Poe,” she said, a small, tired smile gracing her face.

 

She looked as if she’s aged another ten years in the past two weeks. The wrinkles in her skin seemed deeper, her eyes hollow and sunken in, her hair greyer than before. She was no less regal and refined, but this time it seemed a mask. He cursed Kylo Ren for this. Not only was the bastard ungrateful -- if __Poe__ had General Organa as his mother, he would be __proud,__ he would be so thankful, it would be an __honour__  -- he also didn’t give two shits about his family.

 

It was no secret that the General and her husband weren’t on good terms -- something that started maybe even before Kylo was born -- but they no doubt still cared for each other. They still loved each other. And Kylo fucking Ren, had looked his father straight in the eyes, cruel and unforgiving as he drove a lightsaber through Han’s chest. It still hurt Poe to think about -- he couldn’t even begin to comprehend what it was like for the General.

 

He smiled at her, equally as haggard and tired, but still with the same bravado and mirth, “General.”

 

Leia wondered what she had done to deserve this young man standing before her now. Poe Dameron was one of the best and most daring pilots she’s ever known -- second to only her husband and brother. Poe Dameron was, to her, one of the symbols of the Resistance. He reminded her of everything they were fighting for. His fire, strength and resolve. They never wavered. He truly believed in this mission -- even on the days when she sometimes questioned if this was all worth it. Poe was the entirety of the Resistance, condensed in one man.

 

“You look like hell,” she said, dropping some of her formality.

 

She had many colleagues, people she had known for years, and yet, she always remained detached from them, always put herself at a distance. Because to some of them -- even almost twenty-five years later -- she was still __Darth Vader’s daughter.__ But not to Poe, no. Poe, somehow -- and she had no idea how -- saw past that. He saw Princess Leia Organa, leader of the Resistance. A strong and fierce force to be reckoned with.

 

“May I reserve the right to say that you do as well,” he said, smirking as she raised her eyebrows, “all due respect, of course, General.”

 

She shook her head. Honestly, the nerve of this man. She said nothing, instead picking up the holograms sitting on her bedside table and handing them to him.

 

"Your new mission," she said, clasping her hands behind her back once he had taken the holos from her.

 

Poe placed the holos on on the table, pressing a small button that brought forth dozens of pictures. Each hologram contained a file regarding various new planets.  He skimmed over them, taking in names and distances, the type of climate and the inhabitants. They all had one thing in common -- they were all abandoned. The natives had long since either died, or left to somewhere more hospitable. He closed the files, pocketing them in his new jacket.

 

“These planets are below the Order’s radar, and go mostly unnoticed. All have been abandoned or its inhabitants killed. I believe one of these may serve as a suitable second base for the Resistance. We have become too comfortable, and our numbers fluctuate every day. We need to be one step ahead of the Order. We cannot allow ourselves to be compromised -- not when we are so close to the final battle.”

 

The final battle. It was strange of the General to speak of it so casually, as if it were just another republican event. But she was right, the battle was fast approaching and they needed to be ready. And it wouldn’t do them well if the First Order were to attack soon, causing them to lose a number of fighters. She was right -- they needed a second base, somewhere they could go if D’Qar was ever compromised.

 

“When do I deploy?” he asked.

 

“In the morning. You will assemble your squad and deploy. I want you up in the air before the sun rises, and back in no less than two weeks. We can’t have our best out in the open -- the Order is everywhere these days. Fly with __discretion__ ,” she said, giving him a pointed look.

 

And alright. He tended to get carried away when on missions, trying new tricks and going to dangerous extremes. But this time was different. The General was relying on him. And he had people waiting for him. Not just the General, but his father and friends. And not to mention __Finn.__ So much for being there when he wakes up.

 

“Okay,” he said, nodding towards her.

 

“Dismissed.”

 

He turns to leave, but stops halfway to the door. He can’t stand to see the defeated look in her eyes. Or the way she exuded an aura of sadness, filling up the entire room. So potent he almost thought her feelings were his own.

 

“General, if I may,” he said, turning back towards her, “ _ _none__ of this is your fault. Everything Kylo Ren did was not your fault -- it wasn’t Han’s either.”

 

“Commander --”

 

“No. I know he is your son and you love him -- but you know, deep down you know he is gone. He killed Han. I have no doubt he would kill all of us here if he ever found the base. It’s what I’m afraid of. And I know it’s what you’re afraid of too.

 

“Your son -- Ben Solo -- loved you. And he loved Han. I was there. I saw the person he used to be. And because I was there, I can say, with absolute certainty, that this is not Ben. And you know it better than I do. You’ve known it for a while now. I am sorry, I truly am. But Kylo Ren killed Ben Solo. And his not coming back. That was no choice but __his own.”__

__

__“Commander Dameron.”_ _

__

 He falls silent, knowing he crossed a line. But it was a line that needed to be crossed. Leia needed to hear it. None of Kylo’s decisions were her fault -- or Han’s for that matter. He chose the dark side all on his own. He wasn’t __forced__ to kill people. He wasn’t __forced__ to murder his own father.

 

His father had always told him that life came down to choices, and whichever ones you make, good or bad, while shape your future. And when he looked around, and was greeted by Finn and Rey, he couldn’t help feel even less empathy for Kylo Ren.

 

Because Finn grew up in the Order, his entire existence was stolen from him as he was thrust into a cruel and unforgiving world. A world so ready to sacrifice his life. And yet somehow Finn made a choice -- a choice that changed his life. A choice that went against everything he ever believed -- a choice that could have gotten him killed. He went against his upbringing, against his better judgement and helped a reckless, beaten rebel.

 

And Rey, abandoned and alone on an almost barren planet. Rey, who had nothing to gain from helping a small droid. She had nothing and no one, and for some reason she still found BB-8 and helped Finn. She made her choice as well. A choice she could have also been killed for.

 

When he looked at these two remarkable people, whose childhoods were far worse than that of Kylo Ren, who still managed to make __the right__ choice, despite their backgrounds, despite everything they’ve ever been taught. He couldn’t feel anything but disgust for Kylo. He had a family who loved him, cared for him -- and __this__ was how he repaid them?

 

“I know your opinion of my -- of Kylo Ren. And yes I do agree with you, but he will always be my son,” she said, a tone of finality in her voice.

 

“That being said, most of what you said is correct. Ben Solo is dead, and his not coming back. I will not kill Kylo, but I will not stand by idly either. He is still my son, and contrary to what you -- and others -- may think, I have failed him--”

 

“But--”

 

“I __have__ failed him,” she said, silencing him, “but he has failed me as well. And you are right -- it was his choice. I can no longer convince myself that he was forced onto this path. He was seduced to the dark side, much like my father, and he has refused every effort to bring him back to the light. If my son dies, I will mourn, I will grieve for him the same way I grieve for my husband, but I won’t lie and tell you that I won’t be the least bit relieved.”

 

He nods, unwilling to say anything else. He isn’t sure there is anything left to say. She turns away from him, and he pretends he doesn’t see the tears in her eyes. They stand in silence for long moments, neither one of them willing to break the quiet.

 

“You will deploy before dawn. Go get ready, and I ask you to look presentable,” she said, still turned away.

 

He nods, then remembers she can’t see him, “Yes, General.”

 

He takes his leave then, closing the door behind him. He leans against the wall, closing his eyes. He didn’t mean to upset her, it’s just -- he was so __angry.__ Leia was like his mother, someone he loved and cared for deeply, and Kylo Ren just threw her to the side. If it was him, there wasn’t anything his parents could have done that make him do to them what Ren was doing to Leia. Nothing in the entire universe.

 

 

When he’s in his room later, fresh clothes packed in a bag, his hair cut shorter but still hanging across his forehead, cleanly shaven and just showered, he sits down and sets up the holovid. He sits at his desk, facing the camera. He smiles.

 

“Hey, buddy,” he said.

 

“I was hoping to be there when you woke up, but I guess the universe never really works in our favour, does it? Anyway, it’s been two weeks and you haven’t woken up yet. Kind of waiting impatiently here,” he said, laughing slightly, because Finn didn’t even know the half of it.

 

“Anyway, the General is sending me on a new mission. It's supposed to be classified, but I trust you enough to know you’ll keep this to yourself. We’re going scouting, looking for new bases. The General says we’re getting too comfortable here -- and I have to agree. So we’re going out, but we should be back in two week at most. I promise you that I wanted to be there, and it’s kinda selfish of me to want you to not wake up until I get back, isn’t it? What can I say -- I miss you, buddy.

 

“And seeing as the only person I trust with you is a droid, BB-8 will be taking care of you while I’m gone! I bet the two of you are going to be thrilled. Anyway, I gotta go. I have to pack -- we leave in the morning. But seriously, take care of yourself, yeah? I don’t do well with loss, and I certainly can’t lose you. So whatever happens, just know, we’ll find each other again. We’ve done it before, we can do it again. I promise you, I’ll always come back for you. Always.”

 

 He ends the video, sighing. He can’t dwell on the fact that he might have said too much, but he knows Finn will understand. He always does. He lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling, a sense of trepidation taking over. He wishes there were some guarantee that everyone would be okay. Finn, Leia, BB-8, his father. He can’t imagine losing them, and he doesn’t ever want to. But the harsh reality is that he could.

 

He closes his eyes. Hoping. Hoping they will be safe. If Leia Organa has taught him anything, it’s that there is always hope. Even in darkest times. He just hopes it’s enough to save them this time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The very beginnings of Finn/Poe.  
> Also, I love the 'Leia is Poe's surrogate mother; headcanons.  
> Apologies to any Kylo lovers, I don't particularly like him, and I am very unforgiving.  
> Sorry for any errors, mistakes or anything else.  
> NOT BETA READ


	3. Reach Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey begins her training  
> A force bond is (unwillingly) formed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite of every scene with Luke and Rey, remixed (not in movie-order)  
> For the New Year

It’s early morning. The sun has yet to peak out from behind dark grey clouds. At the bottom of the island, Chewie makes disgruntled noises as the rough waves rattle the ship. Next to him, R2-D2 beeped in annoyance, head swivelling around wildly. The droid was eager to see Friend Luke and grew impatient as they waited. Chewie roared at R2, growing tired of the droids incessant beeping. The machine moved out of the Wookie’s reach, escaping to the main corridor, determined not to get any new dents.

 

Deep in the mountain, hidden in a cluster of rock-huts, Rey slept fitfully. She lies on the mattress Luke made her from heaps of straw, old fabric and cushions from his old fighter plane. A small presence tramples through her subconscious, poking and prodding at old memories. A headache formed behind her eyelids, a frown forming on her forehead in sleep. Claws scrapped across her brain, and she shivers, turning her head to the other side to relieve the pain. A quiet voice fills her mind, its tone unsettling. A deep, rumbling that shuddered against the walls of her mind, not an actual sound, but a __feeling.__ An echo.

 

**_**_Rey ..._ ** _ **

 

She turns in her sleep, almost as if she could escape the fluttering of sound by turning away.

 

**_**_REY!_ ** _ **

 

It came more insistent this time; the claws sinking into her brain. Agony bursts forth, and she convulses, her body trembling. Bile burns the back of her throat, and she draws an involuntary gasp to fill her lungs. Fear grips her and holds down her limbs, paralyzing her. She opens her eyes, determined to dismiss the horrid dream, but she is not on the island. Now she’s lying, strapped down onto the same bed as before. The same dark figure stood before her, face too close, eyes too bloodthirsty.

 

**_**_REY! REY! REY!_ ** _ **

 

"No!" she screamed, lurching upwards.

 

A layer of sweat sat on her skin, making goosebumps rise on her expose skin as it cooled. She trembled still, but her muscles relaxed and her joints unlocked. Her heart beats fast against her ribcage, making her breathless and dizzy. She tried to take deep breaths, but she could only pant as her trembling drew to a halt.

 

Her gaze travelled around the tiny room, both new and yet familiar. She laid down as her breath slowed and stared up at the ceiling. She’s alone, the sound of her breathing the only sound surrounding her. As she turns onto her side, tucking her hand under her cheek, she startles as wetness drips onto her palm. She sniffs, and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand and closes her eyes, driving the horrid memories from her mind. Before she can fall back to sleep, the door swings open.

 

She lifts her head, and squints against the darkness of the early morning. Luke stands, outlined in the light of the fading night sky. He stands in the doorway, a thermos in his grasp, and he stares at her. She can't see his expression, but she can sense his concern.

 

"There was a disturbance in the force," he said, entering the room and shutting the door behind him.

 

Thick darkness shrouds the room, and she felt as if she were being sucked into the void. Shadows skittered away as Luke lit a small candle and placed it on a metal holder hanging from the ceiling. The entire room was lit up in a warm glow. She stares at the flame, hypnotised by the way it moves in the soft breeze coming from the far window.

 

"Rey?" he asked, his worry deepening.

 

Her voice is thick and hoarse, exhaustion seeping into her tone as she answered him.

 

"It was a --" she paused, unable to pin-point what exactly. Not a dream, but not a nightmare either. It felt too real, like a memory. But Kylo Ren never once mentioned her name, and it wasn't his voice resonating in her head. It would be better to examine it later. "Nightmare, just a nightmare."

 

She didn't know if he believed her, but he nodded anyway, and turned back to whatever he was doing. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, before he turned to her, a bowl in his hand. She sat up, taking the bowl gratefully and taking long gulps. The liquid is sweet and warm on her tongue, soothing her sore throat and warming her from the inside out.

"What is this?" she asked, once she finished it all and wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Trust me," he said, smirking at her, "You don't want to know."

Something about his smirk confirmed his words, and she decided the mystery was best left to her imagination. She shudders, and hands the bowl back to him. She pulls the blankets until they hang around her shoulders in a comforting embrace, protecting her against the cold.

"Go wash up," Luke said, gesturing to the door, "we need to be up the mountain before sunrise."

She nodded and scrambled up, taking her bag with her as she exited the room. The cold morning air assaulted her once she was outside, and she shivers. She hurries down the steps, catching sight of a small lake trickling down into the ocean. The water is surprisingly warm when she dips her hands into it. She washes herself down quickly as the water cools on her skin, making the frosty air even more unbearable.

As she hurries back to the hut, she stops short at the sight of small beings pushing a cart. They don't even spare her a second glance, more interested in their conversation than a random stranger. They are all dressed in white gowns, and cute white caps on their heads. She watches them disappear around a corner and shakes her head. She continues back up the stairs, but before she reaches the hut, she jolts to a stop. Gravity fails for a second, giving her the same exact instance as when going down on an elevator. Her stomach drops and a small shiver races up her spine.

The world goes quiet, and she blinks a few times, her vision going in and out of focus. When she got her bearings, she stood, shocked and disgusted by what she found before her. She couldn't see him — not exactly; it was more of a distorted vision; she sensed him, heard him even — but she knew he was there. As he knew she was here too.

"You'll bring Luke Skywalker to me," he said, voice dull as he reached out his arm and tried to draw her towards him with the force. For one terrifying second, she thought it might actually work.

But it didn't. He drew his hand back then, with a soft, put-upon sigh.

"You're not doing this, the effort would kill you," he said, giving her an inquisiting look, before turning to look behind him. "Can you see my surroundings--?"

" _You_ ," she spat, features distorting in her rage, "will pay for what you did, you disgusting _murderer._ "

"-- I can't see yours, just you."

She took vicious joy in the way his features winced around his new scar — the one _she_ put there. Someone covered by a grey substance, but its deep, and glaringly obvious on his pale skin. Rimmed in a bloody red. He stared at her, eyes gleaming under lights she couldn't see.

"This is something else."

A loud sound drew her attention away from him, and she turned to see R2-D2 And Luke standing on one of the small cliffs.

"What's taking so long?" Luke called out, his hands on his hips.

" _Luke,_ " Ren said from behind her, eyes widening fractionally.

She wonders if when he told her to bring him Luke, he even believed she was actually with him. Judging by the surprise colouring his features, Ren hadn't entirely thought it was true. That she'd found Luke when he was unable to. That she beat him at this one thing.

When she turned back to Ren, he disappeared, leaving only a trace of whispers in the wind in his wake. She shook her head. Maybe whatever that was, was all a delusion, like the night terror she had early. Whatever that was — it couldn't be real. No doubt conjured by the lack of sleep and stress. That's all right? _Right._

"I'm coming!" she shouted back to him over her shoulder, glancing around at her surroundings once more before turning to join her new mentor.

***

The view from the temple was spectacular. High arches reached towards the ceiling, all facing different parts of the island. The sky lightened, the stars disappearing into the baby blue, the glowing moon fading out of existence to the rise of the sun. She sat crossed legged on the boulder, her eyes taking in the sight before her. Luke stood beside her, hands clasped behind his back as he looked out at the sky. A pleased smile graced his lips, but disappeared as he turned to her.

"Close your eyes," he commanded in a gentle voice and she immediately complied.

"The force is not a power you have, but instead the energy between all things. Think of it like gravity, drawing and expelling things. You yield to it, but you also control it.

"Tell me, what do you see?"

"Darkness?"

He snorted, giving a soft sigh.

"Try again," he said taking her hand and placing it on the boulder, "now, reach out with your feelings. _Feel_ the island under your fingertips. Imagine everything on this island is a piece of thread, and all those threads connect, jumbled in a big heap. And if you touch one a thread, you touch all of them."

Okay, she could do that. She trailed her fingers along the hard surface of the bolder, taking in the edges and dips under her touch. She reached out, imagining she was touching the entire island. Colours and sensations burst forth behind her eyelids, and she gasped, almost drawing back in her shock. But Luke had her steady by the shoulders, holding her in place and talking in a quiet tone; guiding her.

"What do you see? What do you _feel_?"

"I feel — " she started, but the images flashed too quickly, all there and then gone, "I don't know — there's so many _things._ "

"It's okay, it's perfectly alright," he said, soothing her, "just pick one. Latch onto one thing and tell me."

She took a deep breath and tried again. The images still flashed by in a hurry, but this time she grabbed one and held on. She gasps as she hears the ocean, too far down for that to be possible. The waves crash against the shore, wild and uncontrollable. _Chaotic._

 _"Chaos._ I can feel the chaos of the ocean. The waves attacking the shore. I can hear it — I can _see it!_ "

"Yes, yes! Now, if everything has a balance, then what comes along with chaos?"

"Peace!" she yelled, unable to keep her excitement at bay. "Peace comes with chaos."

"Then look, envision in your mind and touch it. Call it to you, it will obey," he said.

True to his word, she saw it. The peaceful quietness of the island. The rustling of the plants in the light breeze, the warmth of the sun absorbed by the grass. Everything in peace and harmony. The tranquility sung within her, twining around her being and lifting her chest. She took in a sharp breath, surprised by the lifted weight.

"It's wonderful," she whispered in awe.

"I know," he said, and she heard the smile in his voice, "but not all of it is. Now, since everything has a balance — look for it. Whatever you see, feel or hear, there is always a counterpart. If you identify one, you get the other, understand?"

"Yes," she said, straightening her spine.

"Tell me then — tell me what you find."

"There's rough — rocks, and cliffs — and soft. The grass, the plants — and the porgs," she said, and laughed as she watched one take off into he sky, "the warmth of the sun and the cold of the ocean. Life and death. Death giving birth to new life. Then there's light and --"

The world tipped. Her stomach sunk and her heart seized in her chest. Luke caught her as she fell forward, catching herself with an open palm. The abyss, it waited for her at the very bottom of the island. A dark, slithering hole. Black weeds dug into the ground, sucking the life of whatever was closest to it. It beckoned her, a sliver if whispers that filled her mind, taking up every crack, every small, forgotten part within her. _Have what you want..._ ** _Take it... Come and TAKE IT_ ** it screamed at her. The dark side. It had something — something she _desperately_ wanted.

"Rey... Rey!" Luke's voice faded in and out, and she tried to open her eyes but they seemed are glued shut.

"Luke?" she said, trying to reach for him, but she only thing she felt was darkness, all-encompassing, spreading further and further, burying itself deep within her soul. It crawled and slithered underneath her skin, making her shudder in revolution

"I'm here, I'm here Rey," he said, voice clearer now.

She could sense his presence now, in her mind. He treads lightly, not invading anything personal, as he carded through the darkness with his glow of light.

"It wants — it has — ,"

"It has something you need," he said, and she shivered at the feather-light touch of his fingers ghosting over the exposed skin of her arms. "I know, it has something we all need."

"What do I do? How do I make it stop?" she asked, panic rising in her.

"Okay, just stay calm and listen. The dark side — it has something that everyone needs, be it power, health, answers to your most burning questions," he said, "it always, _always_ comes with a price. The darkness will give you what you want, but the price would be your soul. It will tear down and twist everything you are into what it wants you to be. You will lose yourself, and it is infinitely harder to bring someone back from that — trust me, I know. And I know who you are, Rey. And you do too."

"Help me," she begged, latching onto him.

"Come back, Rey. Hear my voice, feel my presence. You can see it, I know you can. Just follow the light, Rey. Follow it back," he said, holding her trembling body in his arms. rocking her back and forth, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

 _The light,_ she thought, and saw the sun and moon behind her eyelids. _Follow the light back_ , the bright blue of the sky, and the white fluffy clouds. The vibrant plants and the green grass. The warm rays of sunlight, and he peaceful glow of the stars. Light is everywhere. It surrounds her even when its not there. The darkness hisses at her but she ignores it. _Just follow the light,_ life, rising and falling every day. Han's smile and Leia's warm embrace. Finn's resilience and Poe's bravery. Yes, the darkness parted like a tunnel, the light shining bright and beautiful before her. She reaches forward, her hand brushing over the surface of that blinding light. The darkness recedes, vowing to be back, but the light is louder, embracing her and welcoming her.

She fell back into Luke's embrace, burying her face in his chest. He held her tightly, muttering encouraging words into her hair as he rubbed calming circles into her back. The tears flowed freely, staining her cheeks and wetting Luke's robe. She didn't understand how Jedi could _stand_ this. Everything was _so much,_ a sensory overload. But the dark side — she shudders more violently and pushes the thought from her mind. She doesn't want to think about the dark side and its beckoning call. Gods, for the first time since she arrived, she wished she never started this.

 

***

Later, when she finished crying, and drew away from her Master in embarrassment, they went inside. The floor of the temple rose in the middle, a beautiful circular mosaic placed in an intricate pattern. It glinted under the soft rays of the still rising sun. Rey stared at the colours, unwilling to look at Luke and bare his disappointment. She was a failure — she almost let the darkness seduce her and reduced herself to a sniveling mess in her mentor's arms.  _Pathetic,_ ran through her mind on a loop. 

"Rey," Luke said in a quiet but insistent voice. 

She unwillingly raised her gaze, going against her better judgement and looking him in the eyes. She saw no disappointment there, and it confused her. Instead, the warmth and pride he'd had in his eyes since she arrived was still there, and even multiplied. She frowned, not understanding. She failed, she almost fell to the darkness and made him face every fear he'd ever had about training her after Kylo. 

"I've only seen strength like this once before, in my nephew, Ben Solo," he said, taking a seat opposite her, "and I saw it as an opportunity then. An opportunity to pass along the title of The Most Powerful Jedi onto someone else. And Ben, well at first he was the perfect candidate. Not only did he have the raw strength and talent that was needed — he was also family. But _because_ he was family, he was born into the grey. He existed on a scale, one that we all tried to keep perfectly balanced.

"And that scale could be tipped either way the right amount of pressure applied. And as I had feared when he was born, he fell to the wrong side. And it was my fault. If I hadn't —"

"If you hadn't what?" Rey asked, curious. She always wondered what happened to Kylo Ren to turn him into who he was today. Greed, jealousy, power? 

  
Luke sighed, "As he grew older, Leia feared that Snoke — Supreme Leader of the First Order — would seduce Ben to the dark side. One night, I visited him, but he was sleeping. It was then that I felt a darkness I hadn't known in  _decades._ It was Snoke. He formed a bond with Ben, a link between the two of them — a way of coercing Ben to his side. I told Han and Leia, and we all agreed that the link needed to be severed, or else he universe might see the rise of another Vader."

  
"So what did you do?"

"There was a sort of cleansing ritual, it severs all dark ties, but its incredibly dangerous. So Ben and I went down to a secluded part of the island where I tried to break Snoke's hold over him. But it didn't work. The combined effort and the pain alone nearly killed us both. And Ben," Luke glanced away then, avoiding her gaze, but she could see the sadness in his eyes, "he thought I was trying to  _kill him._ My own nephew thought I was trying to kill him. I loved that boy with all my heart — and I was so determined to make sure he was ever burdened by our family's past. In the end, I failed him."  

"What did he do — Ben? What did he do after the ritual failed?" she asked, knowing it could be the most important detail.  
"He tried to kill, accused me of trying to murder him and then collapsed a building on top of me. He disappeared with half my students and slaughtered the rest. He burnt the place to the ground." 

  
She could feel Luke's pain, potent and heavy in the air between them. She could see it in her mind, Kylo — Ben — lashing out. Shouting at Luke  _You tried to kill me! You're own nephew, and you tried to kill me!_ She could see Luke pleading with him, begging him to understand  _This wasn't the way it was supposed to go..._ but Ben didn't care. There was only darkness and hate in his eyes now, the instinct to kill overtaking all reason. She could hear the screams of the dying students, smell the smoke and ash in the air, choking her. And the burning flesh. The smell made her stomach turn and her eyes wet with unshed tears. 

  
As the images faded into nothingness, she realised that they had actually been memories that Luke shared with her. She stared up at him in horror, but he refused to meet her eyes, no doubt feeling ashamed when he had no reason to. 

  
"Kylo Ren failed you," she said, conviction and determination colouring her tone. 

  
Without doubt, without even an ounce of hesitance she looked his right in the eyes and said, 

  
"I won't."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy


	4. Dreams And Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn dreams about his old life  
> And memories resurface

The infirmary is quiet, only filled by sounds of the medic bots whirling around the room. BB-8 rolls around the room, growing bored and agitated. But the droid could not leave. Friend Poe specifically told it to stay with the Jacket Stealer, who had yet to wake from his coma. If the droid could sigh, it would. As much as it loathed to admit it, BB-8 grew accustomed to Friend Rey and Jacket Stealer. But now they were both gone. Rey off on her mission to find the Jedi Master, Luke and Jacket Stealer lying here, useless to the rest of the galaxy.

 

The door opened with a quick swoosh, and disinfectant sprayed down from the entryway. BB-8 turned, surprised to see none other than General Organa. Her dark grey robes contrasted against the sterile white walls of the backdrop. She walked with grace and purpose, heels clicking against the tiled floor. She drew to a halt once she stood next to the droid, and gave it a warm smile. It beeped back at her.

 

“Hello to you too, BB-8,” she said.

 

She gave the droid a small pat on the head before returning her attention to the comatose young man. She sighed.

 

It’s been almost more than two weeks now, and young Finn has yet to come to. Leia felt a deep remorse for someone beaten down so soon. The way Poe spoke of him reminded her very much of another story. Finn, the daring stormtrooper who went against the First Order and helped lowly Resistance pilot escape the clutches of death.  When she was younger her parents told her, of another Imperial defector. One whose efforts, along with others, saved the entire galaxy, and even Leia herself.

 

“How is he?” she asked on of the medic bots as it zoomed past her.

 

“He is almost fully recovered, we healed his spine with a lightweight metal and synthetic bone. We just have to wait for him to wake up,” the bot said, and continued on its way.

 

“It would be a shame wouldn’t it?” Leia said to BB-8, who though reluctant to, beeped in agreement. “He’s so young -- you think that’s how the Order is finding soldiers these days? They steal children?”

 

“It could be a possibility. By my estimate, taking into account his current age, the time needed to train, and how long he’s been in active duty. They would have had to have taken him at close to a year after his birth,” BB-8 beeped.

 

“By Gods, only a year old. I can’t even imagine,” Leia said, dragging a hand across her face.

 

A moment later, her comm-link went off, informing her that the council seeks her attention. She gives Finn one last glance, before nodding to BB-8 and leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

The ex-stormtrooper, formerly known as FN-2187 lay in the medical bay of the Resistance fighters. It was a most unusual situations, but on par for the last few weeks. Machinery beeped, the only indication of life, as his breathing was weak and feint. Carbon metal and synthetic bones fused the tattered remains of his spine together. Covered by a startling pink-white scar where his skin had been stitched back together. The wound would later serve as a painful reminder of his battle against Kylo Ren -- and his close encounter with death. Unnoticeable, his fingers twitched on the white sheets, as if pulling an imaginary trigger. His dreams filled with guns and blasters, raging fires and dark cloaks.

 

Even in his dreams, FN-2187 could never fully rest. Now, with the walls of his consciousness down, and his old memories running rampant in his mind, his dreams were filled of a time not so long ago past. The First Order had groomed him to be a soldier from birth, taken him from a family he couldn’t remember and placing a gun in his hands. They taught him to obey his superiors and never question orders. For so long he hadn’t known there was any other way of existing besides that. It was what confused him so much about the galaxy outside of the First Order.

 

People he’d seen while on practise missions, they cried, pleaded for the lives of their loved ones. They were willing to step in front of a blaster for someone else. At the time FN-2187 couldn’t comprehend it. Why would they do such a thing? What drives them to want to give their own lives for someone else? It was only later in life, when he stood on a desert planet, with fires raging around him, and his friend’s blood staining his uniform in bloody red, that he began to understand. That night was the tipping point -- that night FN-2187 finally realised what he was apart of -- and he it terrified him.

 

He remembers feeling Kylo Ren’s gaze on him, intimidating and haunty even behind the mask that covered his face. A fear like none other he’d ever known struck him that. He was so sure that Ren __knew__ what he was thinking. Probably delving into his mind with those mind tricks others whispered about when their superiors weren’t around. He thought for sure that he was about to be put down where he stood. Every second of his life flashed before his eyes. Every moment of training, every guard rotation, every time he saw another soldier being sent to the ‘infirmary’ and never coming back. In that moment, he realised that everything he ever thought to be true, was a complete lie. And he needed to leave before anyone picked up on his thoughts.

 

It was only convenient that they caught a Resistance pilot of all people. The universe must have been in his favour for once, when they had him escort the older man through the building. FN-2187 still remembers the fear that gripped him as he dragged the man into a secluded corner and offered to help him. That was the first time he had ever blatantly disobeyed the First Order. Or so he thought.

 

There was another time -- one long forgotten due to probing and memory serum. It weighed heavy on the back of his mind, an inkling of a memory resurfacing after being pushed back and ignored for years. Now it burst forward in a wave of light and sound, drawing him back far back into his mind where everything forgotten lay waiting to be touched.

 

_He roams through the empty hallways of the First Order headquarters, his head down even though no one could see his face through the helmet he wore. His uniform halts and restricts his movements, sweat gathering on his skin as he couldn’t draw in enough air. His heart beats rapidly in his chest, knocking against his ribcage and almost lurching up his throat. His stomach churns, a violent mix of anxiety and fear clawing at his chest. He quickens his stride, but only enough to get him further, but not enough so to draw attention to himself._

_Other soldiers walked passed him, none the wiser of where he was going. After all, everyone had their orders, and no one dared step out of line. No one suspected him, but he still felt as if the walls became sentient, watching his every move, waiting to close around him. He nodded to those who passed him, saluted those of a mildly  higher rank. None of them noticed his grip on the gun tightening, ready to pull the trigger at the slightest hint of a threat._

_He tried his best to appear unimposing. All the superior officers were in a private meeting with the Supreme Leader. Something about the important business they had to discuss. He passes a room with a group of troopers, cleaning up broken and dismantled equipment. No doubt, courtesy of Kylo Ren. He passed by unnoticed, all of  them engrossed in their task of cleaning and complaining._

_He resists the urge to glance behind him, knowing it would look more suspicious than anything else. His thoughts ran so rapidly, he almost missed the elevator he needed to get on. He glanced around on last time. It wasn’t unusual for soldiers to use their elevator, though it didn’t happen very often. When he’s sure no one is around, he gets on and punches in the code for the floor his looking for. It’s close to the bottom, behind a secure door, with no guard. It was lucky he had the pass-code, or else this would be over too soon._

_No guards were posted at the door, only a small keypad, highlighted in a glowing red light. He made sure to memorise the code, not wanting to have it on him if he got caught. He types in the numbers with shaky fingers, holding his breath as the scanner verifies the code. For one horrifying second, he wonders if this is all some big joke, and General Hux was waiting behind the door to kill him._

_But no, the light turns green and the door opens with a quiet swoosh and he lets out the breath he’d been holding. He enters, startling as the door shuts behind him. He shakes himself. Now is not the time to be overly paranoid. He had a mission to complete, and he needed to do it before the meeting was over. Or She would know what he was up to, and that would be the end of FN-2187._

_Two huge machines stood before him, their controls almost ancient. He looked around for a storage cabinet, finding one on the other side of the tiny room. It was grey, almost blending into the wall colour behind it. The drawers are locked, but he slips out a small piece of wire and jimmied open the old lock. The metal pops out with a satisfying_ clink _and he smiles beneath his helmet._

_Inside lie immaculate rows of data and memory banks, all stacked by letters and numbers. He picked up the one with the words ****FN 0-2500** ** printed on it, and took I over to the monitors. He placed the cube on a port, locking it to the board, as it begins to glow a bright blue. Hundreds of thousands of files and images appear on the screen, some decipherable. A skims through most of them, through the names of his friends and fellow comrades. He stopped when he reached his designation. ****FN-2187** ** blinked back at him, his current photo beneath his designation. _

_He caught the name of his home planet but then the door flew open, and he was left scrambling to try and cover his tracks. But he was too late. She stood in the doorway, and he could tell she wore that sadistic smirk even beneath her metallic helmet._

_“FN-2187, I should have known,” she said, as she entered the room. The closer she got, the faster his heart beat._

_“I-I wasn’t --” he tried to lie, but the words failed him as panic and fear took over, freezing to the spot._

_“Oh you silly boy,” She tutted, drawing closer, and reaching for the weapon at her waistband. He gulped, knowing all too well what that weapon could do. “Now I can either use this, or you can come with me willingly.Your choice?”_

_He breathed in sharply  through his nose, and nodded, picking his helmet up off the floor._

_“Good boy,” she said, and he could hear the smirk in her voice widening._

_“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you won’t remember any of this in the morning. You’ll forget everything you saw -- it’ll be like it never happened. It will be safely  locked away in that head of yours.”_

_“Why?” he croaked, “Why don’t you just  kill me?”_

_She grabbed him by the upper arm, drawing him in close and brining her her helmet-clad face closer to his bare one._

_“You won’t understand yet, but you are much to valuable to us -- to me alive. So don’t ask questions and then killing you will no longer be necessary,” she said. She shoved him back, still keeping a firm grip on his arm as she dragged him out of the room._

_He wanted to ask more questions. Why was she doing this -- almost saving him? Any other superior would have sent him to an unmarked grave or reduced him o a pile of ash by now. And She was most definitely one of them. She was the one who sent most soldiers off to the medical bay where they were ‘disposed’ of. She would have -- and most likely should have -- made him disappear before that door even closed behind them._

_Maybe she had other plans for him, Maybe she was just waiting until later to kill him. Or give him up to the Supreme Leader for torture. Either way, none of this added up. She knew it would be him to find those files. She knew she would find him in that room, despite her pretence that she just found out. It was all to suspicious for his taste. But he knew that suspicion wouldn’t last long, especially if he was right about where they were going._

 

 _When they reached the_ Rehabilitation Room _, he forced himself not to struggle. It’s better this way, he thought to himself as she guided him into the room and strapped him down to the chair. He would forget everything he’d learnt, but at least it would be safe. He felt guilty, betraying the one who gave him this mission, in order to save his own skin. He was selfish. But he would rather be selfish and alive, than righteous and dead._

_He watched with morbid fascination as she filled the needle with an almost clear liquid. He been on the receiving ends of those needles quite a few times. He’d become immune to the pain it brought, now only a small pin-prick. What was stranger still, was that she only filled it halfway. He frowned as she flicked the needle, satisfied with her plan._

_“Just enough to keep those pesky memories buried. But not enough to erase them completely,” she said, piercing the middle of his forehead. “You’ll find them when they’re needed.”_

_His vision flowed out, blurring around the edges. He tried to blink the haziness away, but it only intensified. His head spun, and he gasped at the feeling of tiny needles clawing into his brain. The memories slowly  disappeared. They shrivelled up like dying flowers until there was nothing left but the old stem. Still there but now useless._

_She took her helmet off, startling blue eyes meeting his dark ones as she leaned in lose and gave him a serious look._

_“Enjoy your ignorance for now, FN-2187. It will soon end,” and then everything was gone, faded to black and forgotten in the blink of an eyes._

_And when the next morning he found himself waking in his room, with no idea how he got there, he paid it no mind. It happened often enough that he stopped questioning it a while ago. The only strange thing was the folded up piece of paper in his hand. It was co-ordinates, and at the very bottom were the words ****For when you need it** ** in an unfamiliar handwriting. He frowned, debating if he should throw it away or keep it. _

 

_He decided it would be best to keep it. It might be significant in the future. He stuffed it under one of the lose tiles beneath the floor, double checking it was secure before leaving. It would also be best to not mention this to anyone else._

Finn jerked awake, his entire body seizing upwards, his throat caught on an inaudible scream. The medic bot was there in an instant, ushering him down, beeping and muttering “It’s okay, it’s okay,” trying to calm him. He took in his unfamiliar surroundings, his gaze flickering around the room at lightning speed. Finally it landed on the familiar jacket lying on the chair next to his bed.

 

He let out a harsh breath, finally giving into the bot and lying back down. __You’re with the Resistance,__ he thought to himself as the bot checked his vitals, _you’re safe._

 

 _You’re with the Resistance. You’re safe._ That was Poe’s voice _._

 

 _You’re with the Resistance. You’re safe._ That was Rey’s

 

 _You’re with the Resistance. You’re safe._  Leia’s.

 

That’s when the explosions started.

 

The ground shook, and the smell of smoke and fire filled his airways. Distant sounds of screaming echoed in his mind.

 

_You’re with the Resistance…_

 

_****But you’re not safe.** ** _

_**** _

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Alternate Version) (FULL FANFIC COMING SOON!!!)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13028817) by [AO98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AO98/pseuds/AO98)




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